Through the Fire

I had an experience last night that felt just like this picture. Out of focus, in the heat of battle, surrounded on all sides.

In that moment, I felt I was facing all of my own demons. They clawed at my mind, trying to unravel the peace and joy I had attained in this past year. My head was fuzzy, I felt unwell, I couldn't retain a solid thought. The mocking voice kept coming at me with all the failures, fears and mistakes I had made.

I wandered back and forth from my room to the kitchen, trying to walk off the sound of his voice. He was relentless. I prayed for release but none came for quite a while. I finally faced the demon and reminded me of whom I belong to. Suddenly, God was there, like an avenging angel, drawing me back into the warmth of his love. I knew I had faced hell and come back to renew my vow of allegiance. God had not abandoned me to the clutches of my own human heart, but brought me up again out of the darkness and into the light of dawn.

I was blessed to rise in the morning and see the sun streaming through my window onto my prayer plant. The leaves reaching towards the light, just as my soul was drawing in every breathe of the day. The night had passed and I had come through with hardly a scratch. How could that be? I was in the midst of a great battle and yet had no distinct marks to show the struggle. Inside my mind, the lapping of ocean waves soothed and quieted my spirit. I felt refreshed, as if I had swam in the storm for hours and now finally found the quiet beach of awareness. I was loved. I was cared for in the night by one who will never leave me nor forsake me. He will fight my battles if I call and remind me of my perfect creation. I live and breathe because of the divine purpose woven into my being. I am here. I am loved. I have purpose. I will never be alone, even in the dark night, when the mocker will try to break down my walls. The stone wall stands. I am protected. Nothing can separate me from His love and power.

This is more profound than any epic movie, timeless love story or hidden mystery buried deep in the ocean. This is truth revealed that will never diminish with time or space. A place of rest deep in your spirit that feeds your heart and soul something nothing in this world can give you. How amazing! How do we not see it every moment of every day? How do we miss it? Those who wrestle with the enemy find out who their true Saviour is. It's not food, drink, luxuries, homes, positions, even families. It's the peace that passes all understanding. It dwells in the revelation of forgiveness and restoration. It can only be seen once the participant is ready and searching in the deep. Then God reveals his perfect peace. His power to rescue and release you from your past, your future, your expectations of yourself. He fills your heart to full so that nothing is lived except for His purpose. As drowning, then suddenly pulled into the boat, saved from dying in the deep.

I am moved by my experience. I pray that even as it wafts away on the wings of daily living, I will come back here and remember my battle, and the ONE who saved me.

PC